“I’ve spent the entire summer obsessing over Larry. I read fics non stop and watch YouTube for hours on end. School is starting back up in a couple of weeks and I’m scared I won’t be able to
focus. Any advice on how I can find balance in my life?”
First off, can I just say that I admire your self awareness? To know that you value your
education, but that you also value your comfort and relaxation time is an amazing start to your
I don’t know if you’re working just yet, but if you are then I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about how
important self care is. Self care is our time to recharge so that we can keep on chugging.
So, how do you keep your self care while also being able to focus on your schoolwork? My
advice to you is to block out times for each. Make fics and videos feel like special treats that you
get after a number of hours of homework. You know yourself best! Don’t push yourself too hard
or set up unrealistic expectations for yourself— they should be just easy enough that you’re
meeting your goals regularly. Otherwise, you might disappoint yourself and never get the
relaxation time that you need.
Always remember to be gentle with you. You can only do your best with the circumstances that
You can do this, friend!
“It’s so hard to make queer friends in real life. Any suggestions on how I can put myself out
there and meet more people?”
Hello Queer Friend!
I am so happy to answer this question. Having a support system of peers is so important when
you’re queer. Making friends in general can be hard based on your location, age, comfortability,
etc. but I’ve got some ideas.
If you’re in school, I highly recommend looking into your school’s clubs to see if they have any
LGBTQ+ spaces. If there are none and you feel up to it, you could even start up your own!
If you’re of age, you can go onto friend making apps such as Taimi, which show you queer
people in need of friends in your area. I would take extra precaution doing this! If you meet up
with someone from an app, always meet in a public place.
You can also search online for “LGBTQ+ resources near me” for any local organizations or
activities. Your city’s website, Facebook, or Ticketmaster (for Harry Styles or Louis Tomlinson
concerts) are all good places to search.
When you meet someone maybe at school or work or just out and about and want to get a feel
for whether they’re queer or not, you could always try some tricks that I like to use.
You could look at what they’re wearing. Any pronoun pins? Pride flag colors? Birkenstocks (just
You could also introduce yourself with your pronouns or ask them theirs. Sometimes people will
light up and feel safe to talk about queerness immediately.
You could also make a reference that only queer people would know. I once mentioned to a guy
that I used to get my needles from planned parenthood for my hormone replacement therapy,
and he got so excited and told me that he’s trans too!
I would advise you to really feel it out and make sure that the situation is safe before outing
yourself to anyone.
Please remember that you are worthy of friendship. You deserve love and support and
You can do this friend!!!
“Hey Bailey, I’m really sad right now. I have such great ideas for fics but I feel like I’m a bad
writer or that I’ll put in all that work just for no one to read them. Whenever I think of all the
projects I’ve started, I get so anxious, but whenever I think of never publishing one it makes me
feel depressed. What do I do??” -Almost
Dear Almost Author,
I have totally been there! The fear of failure or something not turning out the way you imagined it
can be paralyzing.
As the wise Hillary Duff in the beloved 2004 romantic comedy A Cinderella Story once said,
“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game”.
You already know that you want to write, so do it! You don’t have to create a masterpiece on the
first try, you can have a million drafts if need be. All you need to start is one.
Something that I like to remind myself is that I am writing first and foremost for me, and if other
people enjoy my stories then that’s just a bonus!
You have the chance to create your own worlds where everything that happens is exactly how
you want it to be.
All great writers have unfinished stories. Don’t let them feel like failures, look at them like
bookmarks in the story of your own life. You may finish them or you may not, but either way it’s
going to be okay. It doesn’t make you a bad writer at all.
I can’t wait to read your fics someday. DM me or tag me at #AskBailey with a link when you’ve
published. You can do this friend!