In order to tell you about how I became a larrie, I have to take you back to the summer of 2012. I was 13 years old and it was possibly the best summer of my life. I often think back to walking onto the school bus and hearing One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful” playing on the speakers. I didn’t think much of the song then, much less the band who sang it. I had no idea how much that band would change the trajectory of my life.
One of my best friends at the time (we’ll call her Lara) was very much into One Direction. We listened to One Thing on the way to her grandparents’ house and I fell in love. At our sleepover, she put on her Up All Night tour DVD and told me all about the members and how 1D came to be. We danced until we dropped and I had never felt so alive.
We made it over to her computer and watched videos of the members on YouTube. I remember seeing one video, long forgotten by now, that showed two members hanging all over each other. The little rainbow lightbulb in my head flicked on and I looked at Lara and said, “wait a minute… that’s gay”. My heart raced. I myself already knew at the time that I was queer and was coming to terms with the fact that I was transgender as well.
I asked Lara which two members they were, since I hadn’t memorized their names and faces yet. “Harry and Louis”, she told me. I scooched over to the keyboard and typed into the search bar: HARRY LOUIS ONE DIRECTION GAY. Enter.
Not many results had popped up, but to me, the page before me was a goldmine. “Harry and Louis Gay Moments”, “One Direction Funny Gay Moments”, “One Direction Bromance Compilation”. I don’t believe that many people took Louis and Harry’s relationship seriously back then. It was seen as something lighthearted, silly, or sexy.
Lara and I looked up images of them together on Google. We had found some edited pictures of them kissing, as well as cute pictures of them together. We decided that we would each make collages for each other and print them out. That night we also changed the lyrics to One Thing to be all about Louis and Harry. I miss those days.
In 2013 I started to see the shift from “shipping” Larry to proving Larry. Proof videos started coming out, people on Tumblr argued constantly. Back then it seemed like there were way more larries than antis, but maybe it was just that there weren’t any solo fans then.
Harry and Louis didn’t interact on camera very much anymore. I was angry and heartbroken. I became very defensive over them and thankfully I met a couple of friends in real life that were larries, so I could confide in them. I’ll never forget the transition from “YAY LARRY STYLINSON!” to “stop being delusional” and “you ruined their friendship”.
In 2014 and 2015 I was in Sophomore and Junior year of high school and while I still listened to their music and watched compilations for emotional support, I wasn’t following One Direction as closely. Unfortunately I was dealing with a lot of traumatic stuff at school and home those years.
March 25th, 2015, my best friend at the time frantically searched for me in the halls at school. When she got to me, she said “Zayn left”.
I was such a zombie then, I couldn’t understand what she meant. “Where?” I asked. I noticed she had been crying. That’s when my stomach dropped. “Where, Sky?!”
“He left the band…” she responded. I felt like my whole world had been turned upside down. Not just because of Zayn, but because that might have meant that One Direction, my happiness, was ending. After that, I checked out mostly. I listened to Made in the A.M. and cried.
It wasn’t until the lockdown of 2020 that I decided to check on Larry again. I was getting depressed during isolation, and it reminded me of when I was in high school laying in bed all day watching compilation videos. I searched up “Larry moments” on YouTube and was surprised to find recent videos, only days old! I knew that Larry was real of course, but I didn’t think there had been any recent proofs because there obviously weren’t any interactions online. I was very pleasantly wrong.
I spent quarantine educating myself on all I had missed in the last 5 years. I made new Tumblr and Twitter accounts, and I was hooked all over again. I found out about the boys’ solo careers and fell in love with their music, and I made some new friends too!
It has been 2 years since then and I don’t think there’s been a day I haven’t been on larrie twitter. I’ve now met multiple friends that I’ve made through twitter, I’ve written my own fanfiction, I saw Louis live for the first time, and I run an advice column for a magazine all about Larry.
Larry Stylinson definitely runs my life, and I couldn’t be any happier about that.
