My friend thinks Harry has some kind of control over stunts. Particularly Olivia. How do I explain to her, as a friend, that it’s not that simple?
I’m so glad you reached out. It sounds like you really care about Harry and about your friend. I can see how by your friend thinking that Harry has control over stunts, it could taint her view of him. I’m sure that must be hard on you, because no one likes to hear that their friend has negative thoughts about their favorite person. If she’s a fan, it must also be hard on her to doubt her comfort person as well.
The fact is that none of us fans know what’s really going on behind the scenes. We can use evidence to theorize, sure, but we don’t know. Everyone has their own thoughts as to what Harry’s situation is. Your theories may differ from your friend’s, just like both of yours may differ from mine or anyone else’s in the fandom.
What we do know is how lovely of a person Harry is. We can tell from his actions, his words, and the many interactions he has had with fans. If ever I have doubts, I remind myself how much of a sweetheart Harry is, and that he would never choose to mutually promote anyone who would be hateful towards others.
My advice to you, Reader, is to open up to your friend about what helps you believe that Harry doesn’t willingly go with stunts. You seem like a great friend, and I have no doubt that you’ll consider her feelings when communicating with her. I’m sure she would appreciate the reassurance, too. All you can do is explain to her what keeps you strong and hope that she can find some security in your words. You can do this, friend.
Hey Bailey, I want to be able to talk to my IRL about Larry because it’s something I engage with a lot, but I’m afraid to bring it up because I don’t know if they’ll understand. At the same time, I feel like I’m keeping things from them by never talking about it. What do I do? -Conflicted
Hey there Conflicted,
I’ve been there! It can be so challenging to explain larry to people outside of the fandom. I remember before I told my best friend about larry, I was feeling the same as you are now. She would ask me what I was writing or why I had Twitter, and I would respond with something vague to avoid the conversation. After I told her, she teased me a bit, but ultimately she was happy for me, because she could see how happy being in the fandom made me. In my experience, the short-lived embarrassment and nerves were well worth the ability to be honest and closer with her. She’s even made me larry themed gifts on multiple occasions. She may not understand, but she cares. If your friend cares about your happiness, they’ll be able to look past just about anything as long as it’s harmless and brings you joy.
The biggest thing I noticed from your question is that you want to tell them! That doesn’t sound too conflicted to me, just worried. That’s completely understandable. The worst case scenario is that they judge you for it. And if that’s the case—is that really a friend you want to keep around?
My advice to you, Conflicted, is to go for it. Tell them all about how you got into the fandom and why Harry and Louis make you happy. Even if they don’t understand right away, you’d still be able to get it off of your chest and be more authentic in your relationship with them. You can do this, friend.
Need advice from Bailey? Go to @nsmag_askbailey You can DM or send an anonymous question through curiouscat!